Last night, after feeling some really big feelings, I had an aha moment - As a parent, OUR own feelings, are NOT our children's feelings. Just like our childhood or our fears or our dreams are NOT our children's. My fears as a child are not the same ones my kids will face so why am I worrying as if I AM them?
I know you may read this and think, "duh" but stop and think for a moment and really take an inventory check. How many times do you brew over something anticipating how your child will feel, or act, or react before they have even shown you how they actually will?
How much of your anxiety and behavior is caused by protecting them from pain, that honestly, they may never even notice? We all do it, because we assume that how we would feel is how they will feel. We do it when recommending a good career when they go off to college, we do it when we stay up all night wondering are they crying themselves to sleep when staying at gramma's house.
So for anyone who needs to the awakening to this, OUR feelings are not anyone else's for that matter, especially our children's. Expect them to flourish and to not carry your pain with them as they navigate the world. Work on yourself so you can fly through it with them.