Let Go of Finding Your "Purpose" Mama

The song lyrics to Tim McGraw’s “Live like you were dying” haunt me every other second of my life as I am in the tussle and bustle of young mom life. Whatever song or scripture or lesson you attribute it to, you know what I am talking about. The idea that we are not supposed to lose ONE day to mediocrity and that we should be finding our destiny and pursuing it with every ounce of our being.

Then you look around yourself. Your toddler is yelling things like, “Stop asking ME to put on my shoooooes” and your baby is poking himself in the face with a spoon that has last night’s dried up spaghetti still stuck to it. Oh and your baby has a food allergy so you hope to goodness your epi pen skills will not be tested today. You think, “Shit, I failed again. There is no way THIS can be my purpose, my destiny. I am wasting yet another day.”

Now there are some parents out there who are simply meant to be amazing parents. They are the ones who I used to be jealous of; they loved being pregnant, they adored staring into their sleeping babies’ faces while they rocked them to sleep at 3am, and they continue to oooh and ahhh at every stage of their children’s life saying, “this one is better than the last.”

The rest of us, well, we are meant to be parents, but I wouldn’t say it is our ultimate purpose on this Earth. It is however, part of the plan of finding out how we should contribute to the betterment of society. Without having children, feeling the pains , trials and tribulations of it all, you may not have ever come about your purpose.

As a good friend reminded me, “Trust that you are exactly where you are at exactly the right time for a reason and a purpose. Maybe it wasn’t a fruitful path but what you learned in that path was worth taking the scenic route.”

Dr. Carol Phillips, a world renowned chiropractor and creator of Dynamic Body Balancing, shared with me that she remembered feeling that during the years she was a parent to two young children were “unproductive” in terms of her life purpose. However had she not had her children she never would have discovered the benefits of chiropractic work and created a 30 plus year career out of it. It was her daughter’s health that eventually introduced her to this discipline, a calling that was completely not even on her radar when she was struggling with “being productive.”

So I leave you with this. Know that “THIS”, this phase, this stage, this feeling of unproductively, THIS is what is propelling you even closer to your purpose, and it is ok if you do not know what it is.