Learning How to Give Myself Credit as a Mother

Shared with permission by its author Kathryn Marriott.

TRUEstory. True Conversations. 

In May of this year I was asked as part of a group exercise to reflect on our own mothers.

At the time I struggled to reflect reality or sugar coat & BS an answer. I aimed to be authentic and get from that morning SOMETHING. So I just went for it and was real.

I realized the words I used to describe her aren't the words I want my children to use in describing me. I felt guilty. I felt bad. I just accepted that my mom isn't who I wanted her to be. (Or so I thought)

Today... I had a cool moment with my mom and I want to share that moment, because it's 100% what we all wrestle with and made me realize something simple.

I am at my parents in NC. My one child was asleep and the other was getting iPad time. We were able to just "catch up" which we rarely pause to do and even when we can, we just don't. I can't even remember the dialogue or how we got there but she looked at me and said, "You are an amazing mom. I don't think you give yourself credit for what you juggle. But you need to start doing that."

It was a simple moment. It was a sweet moment. But with what we are balancing, it was an unexpected moment; we were 100% comrades. She with experience and me listening.

My mother just handed me the wisdom that we as mothers are all searching for... How do we do it all; with so many hats to wear...how do we balance ourselves? The answer: By giving ourselves credit, which is uncharacteristic and so challenging... At least for me.

Thanks Mom. I heard you. I will try.

We may not have the best/most ideal relationship, but she is my mother and God love her, she tries. And today, she told me what I needed to hear and what I needed to focus on: be forgiving with myself. Start recognizing what I am doing as a mother vs what I'm not doing.

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