Dear Seekers of Truth Regarding Motherhood

I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS RANDOM KNOWLEDGE

You're going to be entering a lot of unknowns after having your baby. You will feel unconditional love, happiness, sadness, fear, boredom and nervousness all at the same time and think, what happened to my life? Your baby is such a blessing, but the first couple months will feel very cloudy. My advice is to just hold on, things will become clear again soon.

 

Katie, mom of one
It took about a year before I could have totally pain/discomfort-free sex.


Heather, mom of three
Don't be in a rush to take the pill after giving birth. It may suppress any desire you would have had!  


C, mom of two
My uterus never shrunk back to its original size, which occasionally causes pain during sex.

 

Kristen, mom of two
I'm really tired of all the mom bashing and a new mom should never feel guilty about her decisions. Unless you are being neglectful or harmful to your child, don't let anyone tell you that you are doing it wrong. You do what makes you and your baby happy, healthy, and safe. You aren't a bad parent if you don't feed your baby exclusively organic, homemade foods. As long as you feed your baby healthy foods and make sure they get enough to eat, you are doing great!  If you are happy rocking your baby to sleep all night, throughout the night, or you like co-sleeping, fabulous! Keep doing whatever is working so everyone in the house is sleeping.  There are blogs and books and research out there to support and disprove every parenting decision out there. Your baby is fully dependent on you and can sense your feelings. You need to be happy and healthy in order to raise this happy and healthy little person.


Cait, mom of two
You will not poop alone for the next three to five years.  
You can never call out sick again either.
Reading or watching TV uninterrupted is not gonna happen. Have a bookmark and remote on hand. Thank god for DVR and Netflix.

 

Katie, mom of two
My advice to new moms is to have really low expectations. I think I was expecting the first three months or so to be really sleep-deprived and hard. But then three months passed, and my life was still really sleep-deprived and hard! Then people would say, “It sounds like you just have to get to a year. At a year, things get so much easier.” But they didn’t! Everything still sucked, and I was still an insane bundle of anxiety! Maybe I am just very sensitive to getting enough quality sleep, but things finally started to level out after we sleep-trained at fifteen months and my son started sleeping through the night.  If and when we have another baby, I’ll expect everything to be a shit-show, sometimes literally!  I’ll be more assertive about my personal boundaries so that I can just chill. The. Fuck. Out.

 

Sandi, mom of two
Best advice I can give a new mom is to take care of the nurses and office staff and your child's pediatrician. Remember nurses day, the holidays. You would be surprised how far a few bagels and donuts can go. There has been many times I have called and have been told there were no openings, only to give my name and then be asked "when do YOU want to come in?"               Also, take the tour of your hospital and read about delivery around 20 weeks. Do not wait until 34 weeks, which is when the hospitals recommend.  Your baby may arrive early like mine did and I was clueless.

 

Lindsay, mom of two
I cannot emphasize enough the important role that mom groups and meet-ups have in my life now that I am a stay at home mom. They have allowed me to keep my sanity by talking to other adults throughout the week. They allow me to take my daughter to socialize with other kids her age and burn off energy and steam. They have introduced me to good friends who understand exactly what I’m going through.  We schedule play dates in our homes, or meet in the park or at a museum and we can talk about NOTHING, but babies. I cannot do this to my friends without kids. I just can’t subject them to that. They don’t want to hear me talk about milestones and potty training for an hour, and I totally get that. This is where my mom friends come in.  As a SAHM (stay at home mom), socialization is so important to me. I would feel very isolated without it. Talking with other adults, discussing the stuff that we are all going through together, and letting our kids get some energy out is a win win.  I used meetup.com and word of mouth to find mom groups in my city.

 

Ricki, mom of 3
I feel like we spent more money on buying me bras, shoes, and clothes that fit my body that is now completely different then we did on the baby.  Even workout clothes!  Clothes that worked for nursing, and then clothes to wear as I worked out to try to get back to my normal size, and then clothes that fit my new "adjusted" size because things like my hips didn't go back to the way they were.

 

Ashley, mom of three
After each one of my children were born I remember looking at my husband differently.  Seeing your man holding your newborn makes him look so sexy! Fast-forward a few weeks when you're sleep deprived self is up every two hours, the baby is screaming, you are crying and your husband is snoring because he is having the most peaceful sleep. You will want to suffocate him with his goddamn pillow.
Having sex will become a chore, not because you don't want to anymore, but because you are touched out at the end of the day. By that I mean I have had two babies (twins) breastfeeding every three to four hours and a toddler that needed attention.  There will be days when everyone is crying, you are still in your pajamas at 5pm, you are pouring cereal for dinner and your husband will come home and make a pass at you and you will cringe.  You will cringe again to yourself because you're feeling this way!  It's exhausting just thinking about one more person needing you at the end of the day, when you haven't been able to meet your own basic needs.  This does pass...

 

Caitlin, mom of two
It’s not realistic to think you will get much accomplished after having your baby. You are recovering, and taking care of a helpless human who wants nothing but love, milk and to sleep. Focus on that. Accept and adapt, in your own time. You will find yourself missing your old alarm, your routine, commute, job, adult activities, and personal time - it’s gone for a little while at least!

 

Heather, mom of three
Before I had kids, I was the most logical and sane parenting expert in the world.  If people were having problems with their kids, I always had an obvious solution ready, and pitied them for not having the resolve to get their lives in order.  This is hysterical to me, looking back.  What an arrogant asshole I was!  Having kids definitely gave me a very powerful lesson in withholding judgment without knowing the entire situation.  I was prepared to love my children, but I wasn't prepared for all the personal emotional growth that would come with it.  My patience levels have grown leaps and bounds as well, although I still have my moments of frustration and insanity.

 

Michelle, mom of two
Mom guilt is real.  All you think about is how much you need a shower, how you want to eat without holding a baby or before the food gets cold.  Then you're lucky enough to get the time and can't enjoy it because you feel guilty that someone else is watching your baby.
Motherhood is amazing and there's nothing like seeing your children thrive and grow and learn things but it's also very overwhelming at times.  It's hard to get used to the fact you are responsible for this new life and every decision you make impacts them.  You learn quickly that you can't control everything and that's hard to accept.

 

Good luck, congratulations & thank you for reading!

 

Relax, everything you read is 100% worth it!                                                                      xoxo Cait

Relax, everything you read is 100% worth it!                                                                      xoxo Cait